remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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