I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
