So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
