Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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