i don't like sucking hair
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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