Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
you will always have a special place in my vag
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
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