so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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