Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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