oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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