i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
