So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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