Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I will pee on everything he values.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
