Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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