You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize