oh god the rape fog is back!
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
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