I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
