i was rollin on her like bob the builder
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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