How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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