he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
