just tell him i said nine months
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
