brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
well most of my day revolves around power hour
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
