No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
