Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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