Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
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