Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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