is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
It's official drugs can't kill me
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
