How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
