Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
The ass gains better be worth it
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
