it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize