i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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