Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
