i would punch a child for taco bell
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
