just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
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