Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Blood and glitter go together right?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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