It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
