The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
