If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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