from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
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I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
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I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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