Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize
