i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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