quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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