By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
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just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize