he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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