It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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