How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
