Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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