Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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