I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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