Who did Billy Mays play for?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize