your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
as a side note pls kill me
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize