I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
