and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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