So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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