Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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