it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
