fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
