kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
