i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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