Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
