yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Randomize
