You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
