the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I just pynch a tree in the face
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Everything about him screamed your future.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
