Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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