thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize