Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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